So I have been a little delayed in doing this blog due to some mental issues of which were caused by an event on late Sunday afternoon.
Everyone has family issues its what families do and what they are like, for many it’s a show of love.
However for some of us, it’s a show of power, manipulation and lack of love and honesty within the walls of family. Following an argument with my family about the safety of my child during a pandemic and avoidance of any lasting mental health issues in later life, I fell out with my parents and former brother.
I say former following a difficult decisions to cut him entirely out of our lives as he lacks respect for Alana or myself and after consistent discussions involving him making more effort not arguing, swearing and threatening behaviours in front of Alana to myself the time came to make a decisive move to remove that toxicity from our lives for good. I won’t deny it though, it will not be easy and will I am sure cause tension and issues in times to come but for all our wellbeing I am going to keep remind myself this is for the best. Creating boundaries, something he’s never had instilled into his life before, is safe for you as a person and as a parent.
The falling out with my parents has thrown me off my axis. I know that my mother and I have a relationship that has been deteriorating for many years though it still hurts that I have become that low in her priorities for her to treat her grandchild as such was the icing on the cake. I am normally close to my Dad however lately everyone has been enabling my Mums behaviour and so I am unsure on the approach to take, do I cut them out until my head and weight on my chest has eased so I don’t make a rash decision or do I make a decision which could cause regret and more issues?
During all of this, I am sure you can imagine my IBS is not a happy bunny with the lack of sleep, stress and frustration causing tension throughout my entire body. I am fatigued and drained while dealing with churning, discomfort and stabbing pain all day long.
The stress and tension during confrontations are hard enough for anyone to manage with the added issues of our strong connection on the brain gut axis and the effects of this on our IBS.
The brain gut axis isn’t a particularly new concept in regard to nerves and stomach upset before you go somewhere new or do something for the first time. However, as research gets more specialised into digestive issues such as IBS we see the information turns more and more into the factors not just that is an entirely food related illness.
I am so confused about where I am going, how I am feeling, what should I do and how should I change myself to ensure none of the same happens to my daughter at all?
For me to manage my IBS while all this is swirling around my head is an unfathomable task and I am definitely feeling the strain in my home life and relationships with people all due to the unrest in my heart and head.
Anyway, today I am writing this while in agony and flaring up no end, little one was up at silly o’clock this morning and hasn’t slept all that much to catch up. After my therapy session, I might get some sleep tonight so fingers crossed
#familytrouble #creatingboundaries #wellbeing #cuttingoutfamily #fallingoutwithfamily #familydynamics
This is Me right now, not pretty I know
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