So I'm Bobbie, a 25 year old mother to a 2 and a half year old little girl and an 11 month old Border Collie puppy. We live in beautiful Shropshire with little girls Daddy, my boyfriend/partner/soulmate in a 3 bedroom house in Telford, as you'll see through my blogs it isn't our favoured spot to reside but Little one was not planned so we cracked on with house buying ending in moving 2 weeks before she made her dramatic appearance.
This blog is a major step for me in the journey of managing this condition which so many of us suffer with but on numerous levels and severity, Irritable Bowl Syndrome.
The truth is I have had IBS for pretty much my entire life but pre baby times it was more than manageable and hardly noticeable but the for last 2 years it has ruled my life. Basically, I could have what I would call a bad tummy and what I now refer to as a flare up very rarely overnight and be back to normal after sleeping with no aftermath or consequences. Unfortunately, at around 10/11 months post-partum I got hit by severe IBS which progressively got worse until I was unable to care for my daughter or eat a single thing without bawling my eyes out and spending time going between the bedroom and the toilet. Not a fun time, also one which haunts me to this day!
We all have this one experience that defines our actions in IBS it can vary from severe pain at a social event to the extreme of an accident in a public area as you couldn't make it. All of these are some sort of traumatic experience and affect our mental health and all decisions from then on in our lives, causing anxiety about leaving our homes and enjoying our lives.
I have two really defining moments in my IBS life:
1.The day on my brother's 21st birthday meal, he was born 3 years and a days after me so it had been my birthday the day before obviously. The reason I clarify this is because I had gone out for a meal with my partner and daughter the day before and everything had been normal no issues, nothing. We went to the meal in a restaurant I had been to before, with my family with only one different factor. His girlfriend, a girl I had fallen out with on a number of occasions, a girl that lacked respect for me as she had turned up with my brother and walk into my bedroom a day after I had got home with my baby girl, a girl who had moved into my parents house without mentioning it to me, a girl who expected me to welcome her with open arms after lying about her life story so many times I lost count, a girl who I constantly felt on edge and uncomfortable around. As you can imagine, I was on edge while travelling there, I had changed my outfit twice, and was in quite a stress over this however everything was fine until I went to the carvery with my Mum to get our food. The pains started quite manageable got the food thought maybe it was hunger, the pain continued to escalate took paracetamols then ibuprofen (normally this combination would ease the pain, nope not this time), i spent the whole meal feeling nauseous, in agony, stressed out and trying to sit at the table not to upset my 11 month old daughter who was very confused and distressed by me being unwell and spending so much time in the bathroom.
2.The day I had to call my partner crying my eyes out while trying to settle my daughter to get his mother to come over asap as I couldn't care for her with the pain level. From the situation above the IBS severity had progressively got worse, I had managed the pain with my paracetamol and ibuprofen mix until my Aunty a Nurse told me with IBS ibuprofen is a Big NO NO! So I stopped along with this we decided to reduce foods with literally no idea what foods to remove or anything to the point where we had no idea what I could eat as no matter what I ate I was crippled and if I didn't eat I was crippled, a No Win situation! On this day, the pain escalated quickly and got out of hand, I was stuck upstairs on the toilet hoping my daughter would be happy and safe downstairs in the living room. I knew that I could look after her that day, I was too far gone with the pain and it wasn't fair on her to see me crying and writhing in agony in front of her. I made the call to my partner, who was very worried straight away thinking it was our daughter, he got his Mum to come and care for her. That day, I cried in pain, I cried for my failures as a parent, I cried for my failure to give her the life she deserved, I cried for my failure as a partner. I had hit rock bottom!
Today, I decided to stop these moments/experiences define mine and my family's lives anymore, I booked a therapy session. The first step in getting my life back and finding the new me!
I am determined to get back to doing what I love and managing this condition, while showing you the good, the bad and the ugly along the way. Whether this be me moping or me feeling amazing, you and I deserve to get to see it all and look back into a long overdue journey we can take together. Plus any parenting a toddler and puppy failures to keep things interesting!
This is Me, on a sunny day of course!
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