It’s hard to understand the reality of parenting through a flare up, the pain, the immoveable situation on the toilet for hours at a time while holding back cries so your child doesn’t need to see you in so much pain.
My reality in a 4 day flare up was absolutely hell on earth for my daughter to see me in that dreadful state, I know it could be worse and is for many but for my daughter to see me and sit by my feet during this hard time was the hardest thing I have had forced her to endure so far. I hated every second of it and it fills me with dread every time I think about it still.
My way to deal with it is to be prepared, if I know my stomach is in unrest I prepare for any eventuality through the day. This is along the lines of toys outside the bathroom, colouring supplies and the tablet nearby in easy reach to grab on route to the bathroom. It isn’t a nice situation for her to deal with but as bad as it sounds she is getting used to sitting with me and being well behaved occupying herself while I suffer in front of her and unable to play or be involved with her.
If not aware of a flare up coming , I will always have things in a certain place to ensure I can grab it on route if things hit me out of the blue leaving me in a rush to prepare. While tidying up this isn’t the case and so sometime she gets left behind doing her own thing. This is always far from ideal often leaving my child downstairs if its just a major urgent feeling (sue me, she’s safe) if I’m honest most the time she’ll bring a toy up and sit with me anyway. This was at the beginning before I started to realise I needed a long term solution for her to be safe and not be worried about me, and so I started to be more prepared in regards to dealing with my uncertain toileting habits.
I always have something upstairs for her to play with, there is a Happyland fairy treehouse set in her bedroom and a rocking horse, the only toys allowed in her bedroom. These mean that there is always something to entertain her during our times stuck upstairs in the bathroom.
In truth parenting through a flare up is just plain difficult, no matter how much you try to make it as easy as possible. The horrible dread and guilt, at your child seeing you in pain and suffering the incapacity of your being unable to play and entertain her mind, is overwhelming at times and devastating to my mental health at times.
After speaking to my therapist and for deciding to end this horrible 2 years of not eating or my relationship with food being unhealthy to the point of ridiculous, at which point I am on this journey to improve our lives, all our lives.
Everyone must do whatever they must do to manage this situation as best as they can under the circumstances, chronic illnesses of every kind leaves so many parents in a uncertain and heartbreaking situation.
#irritablebowelsyndrome #chronicillness #ibswarrior #parentinglife #parenthood #managinglife #takingmylifeback
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